The real job description of a mother

The job description of a mother sounds so simple, boring and unchallenging. However, mother’s know differently. Take a look at the real job description of a mother…

Miracle worker required for challenging permanent work in a very busy household, permanent position no previous experience or training required.

Additional responsibilities and skills required:

• Nanny – must be 100% flexible in every way, caring, be able to instil discipline, have the patience of a saint, have amazing organisational skills and the ability to multi task is essential. Must have a strong stomach.
• Teacher – must be able to help with multiple homework projects, deliver inspirational descriptions and explanations for mundane questions, have great ideas for new activities, be able to set a good example 100% of the time. Must know everything and always have a good answer ready.
• Cook – must have the ability to cook at least 3 different meals at the same time, have some knowledge of nutrition and the ability to adapt meals that encourages children to eat. Must be able to teach children cooking. An understanding of what the child will not eat on any given day despite liking it before is essential. Must not be offended if meals end up on the floor / walls or end up uneaten. The ability to plan meals up to a month in advance is also a plus.
• Shopper – must possess excellent organisational skills, be able to think ahead for the whole family and never get it wrong. The ability to buy only what is on the shopping list is essential and not what the children demand.
• Cleaner – a knowledge of how to remove every form of dirt is essential. Must be physically fit. Must have innovative ideas for great storage solutions and a strong back for picking everything up from the floor. Short finger nails a must.
• Housemaid – must always be on hand to deal with the needs of everyone in the house 24/7. Multitasking is essential. Must be good at laundry and ironing and have excellent knowledge of stain removal.
• Nurse – must be caring, a good listener, have first aid knowledge and excellent ‘rubbing it better’ skills.
• Counsellor – good listening skills are essential, the ability to turn the other cheek and be good at family and group counselling.
• Negotiator – must have excellent negotiation skills.
• Referee – must have the ability to intervene in fights when necessary, and always know who had what toy first. Skills at diverting issues before they snowball are also required.
• Friend – must have the ability to loose inhibitions, play and be silly, sing silly songs and dress up.
• Taxi driver – driving licence is essential or a good bus pass and the ability to be in at least 3 different places at once.
• Hairdresser – must be able to style hair and restyle hair at least 5 times a day.
• Events coordinator – excellent organisational skills are essential. Must be creative, have very good budgeting skills and great ideas. Must be able to bake novelty party cakes, sometimes 3 at once.

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• Hours : 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
• Annual leave : nil
• Salary : £0 (You pay them). Payment comes in the form of unlimited hugs, smiles and love.

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Who in their right mind would apply for this job??

I believe the real job description of a mother is far from unchallenging and boring, every day brings a new challenge and new excitement. It is hard work, with no financial rewards or time out, yet millions of us become mums every day and absolutely love it!

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