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Trusting your gut.

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I’m sitting on my armchair as I type this, legs crossed (young and flexible here) with This Morning on in the background.

You know, living the dream.

I’m still job hunting (for everyone out there obsessed with my earning potential) I’m looking at websites daily, getting more and more annoyed as each day passes. It’s not that there’s no work out there, it’s that there’s no work out there with the right hours & that grabs my attention and shakes me by the shoulders shouting “PICK ME!”

But, at the same time, I’m feeling quite good about things ya’know? I’ve always had that ‘what is she looking for’ feeling about me, but I don’t feel like I have that anymore. Alright, I don’t know what job I’m going to get, but I do know I’m not going to take the wrong one just because. That whole “settle because I have to” mentality has gone, gone, gone….!

Sing it sister.

I was doing some house-wifey shit this morning HELLO?! WHERE DOES ALL THE DUST COME FROM? The sun was shining through the (not so shiny) windows and I was, just, happy. There’s no other explanation for it.

Colour me yellow and call me Mr Happy. Or don’t. Whatever.

So, as the title of this post suggests (and I’m all about keeping to a theme) I am really, really, enjoying trusting my gut. I think we spend so much time battling against what we feel we should be doing, what we want to be doing and what we know is the right thing to do. When you really cut the crap and get right down to it, your gut instinct? That’s usually the right decision. When you’ve got a feeling that something just isn’t right and you’re laying in bed worrying about it? That’s draining as hell. When it happens over and over again? Not good.

Anything that gives you a bad vibe, drop it. Work, situations, friends. At the end of the day, if it doesn’t make you happy, what is the point?

I mean, obviously, housework ain’t gonna make me happy forever. Mary Poppins I am not. And I do really want to be able to earn my own money, so I’m gonna have to get a job soonish. But I refuse to be a Bitter Betty about my situation, I’m going to enjoy being home while I am, then, when I find “the” job (hello to anyone who thinks they have “the” job, feel free to email, tweet, message or carrier pigeon at me) ((big laughs to thinking people actually read this blog)) I’m going to enjoy that too.

Look at me being all grown up. Seeing the positive instead of the negative. The bloke will have to find something else to moan about now…. shame!

 

**image from Pinterest.

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20 secret thoughts every woman has at some point.

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1. Is everyone out doing something exciting but me?

2. I’m fat.

3. Tonight I’m going to turn my phone off at 8pm and have a whole evening without social media. I will not be checking Snapchat and Instagram at 11pm…..

4. I probably should watch Making a Murderer, or other Twitter faves. But I really, really, like The Real Housewives of Cheshire and TOWIE.

5. How is it possible to have wrinkles and spots at the same time?

6. My figure doesn’t define me, I’m a grown up, a mama, sexy is not a size. But, seriously does my chin need to look like that?

7. Do I really look like the hairdressers mirror would like me to believe? Gollum eat your heart out.

8. What does my favourite Kardashian say about me? (Admit it, we all have one)

9. Why does Diet Coke taste so much better from a can.

10. Will I ever be good with money. Not while ASOS is on my phone, that’s for sure.

11. So what if the fridge is full and I spent £120 on a weeks shopping, the only thing that’s on the menu tonight is kebab/Chinese/pizza. Because I deserve it after the day I’ve had. (i.e I can’t be arsed to cook, can you?)

12. Oh my god I will never be thin or rich if I keep ordering takeaways.

13. I actually really sound like Adele in the car. Like, uncannily similar. Twins.

14. I only know when my period is due because of an app on my phone. Never leave me iPhone.

15. Why can I remember every word to random pop songs, but the 8 times table is instantly forgettable.

16. Shit. The only parking space available needs reverse parking to the right. I can only do it to the left. And there are people watching me. Never mind, I’ll come back tomorrow.

17. No. I don’t need a lift to the kerb, thanks mate.

18. How can I keep two humans alive but anything green in my garden dies a withering death?

19. I totally have FOMO, but my CBATDA always has the upper hand. (Can’t be arsed to do anything)

20. I am a proper adult, making adult decisions every day. But, I’m just gonna check with my parents if they think this is a good idea…..

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Finding your happy…..

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Without sounding like an X Factor reject, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions the past year. We all know I didn’t get into uni and we all know I’m quite a stubborn, yet indecisive person. Yeah, that’s as much of a headache as it sounds.

I’ve bounced around between trying again and giving up on the idea of uni more times than I’d care to admit, done the shower conversation (don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about) lay awake at night worrying about who I’d be letting down if I did or didn’t do it. I’ve gone all accountant on my own arse and tried to work out how painful it would be to *not* earn any money for another 3 years…. that one hurt.

I’m still not 100% on my decision, when is anyone ever? But, for now, I’m happy.

For the first time in a long time there is nothing weighing down on me. No deadlines, no exam nightmares. I can cook for the kids every single night, plan for them to have friends round or go to friends, I can have a coffee in the afternoon without feeling like I’ve lost the only spare hour I had. Granted there is still the need to find myself a job, I thought I’d found the perfect one last week, but sadly, I wasn’t right for them (I know! Shocking!) and jesus it’s hard to find something that fits in with children, isn’t in London, is part time(ish) and isn’t duller than dishwater. The bloke is being amazing, he’s told me to take my time and find the right role, and he knows the ‘bigger picture’ and is still, surprisingly, married to me. I must have other talents.

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There’s time to work on the house and garden, time to blog again (you may, or may not be pleased about that) and I have time to read!! This makes me *so* happy! Magazines and books, leisurely reading for enjoyment – it’s been too long!

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I’ve had time to think too. To refocus and look at where I want my life to go. I still want to work with people, to help them, I’m still obsessed with fertility and pregnancy (not just my own!) and so there is a baby plan if you like, that involves reflexology and specialising in certain areas. It, of course, means more studying – hello eternal student – but it’s a career that could fit in around family life and provide enough of the things I’m looking for in a job. Then there’s time for travel, we have trips to Amsterdam, Geneva and Spain planned already this year, with the hope of a couple more being thrown in.

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All of these things, big or small, equal my happy.

It’s to find a balance sometimes. The pressures of life take over, whatever they are – money worries, lack of time, work stress, illness – it’s so easy to get sucked into the negative side of things, leaving you feeling like you can’t see the wood for the trees, that you’ll never escape the shittiness of it all. But you do. There’s eventually a crack in the misery and the happiness slowly starts to seep back in. I know I sound like a cheesy Pinterest quote but it’s true.

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It’s about finding your happy, and making it work for you. Nothing makes you appreciate what you have like not having it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to find…….!

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LD Travels – The Best Nights Sleep With TEMPUR & Talplow House Hotel

I’m known for a few things amongst those who know me well, and, while some of them aren’t exactly ‘share worthy’ others are. One of those being how much I love my bed. Now, it’s not necessarily because I like to sleep all the time (get your mind out of that gutter – but yes, also that) but just being in bed makes me happy. Fluffy duvets, big, squishy pillows, cotton duvet covers, magazines, Instagram, Netflix – all those things coupled with being hidden away from the world = happy Kate.

So when I was invited by TEMPUR to visit Taplow House in Windsor to see if they could provide the best nights sleep ever, I was hardly going to say no now, was I!

We arrived just after 2pm, driving into a gated car park which protected a stunning building. I love old architecture and the history surrounding them, anything that has a past intrigues me, Taplow House as it stands was built in 1751, altered in 1800 and again around 1840. Although earlier records are vague, whatever was around before it was completely burnt down in about 1660. The cellars still bear scorch marks from that fire. After checking in, we were shown to our room, which consisted of a gorgeous bed, flat screen tv, stunning views over the grounds and a lovely luxury bathroom.

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At this point, like any sensible, weary parents, who have either worked all week or battled their way through Easter half term, we decided to lay down on the bed with a cup of tea. Oh yeah, we are proper rock and roll us two. Once we had rested, had a flick through the TV channels (who knew there were TV’s out there that didn’t include kids channels…?) and chatted to each other without interruption, I did what any normal woman would do, I ran an afternoon bath. Now, that’s probably one of the other things I’m known for, I love a bath. Unfortunately, our house owns a bath designed for children, or, very, very small people. You have to make a decision when getting into our bath, do you want your legs under the water, or your upper body. You cannot have both. Choose wisely.

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Anyway. The bath didn’t disappoint, it wasn’t overly big but it was deep enough to soak away a good 40 minutes.

We decided we didn’t want to eat at the hotel, as we wanted to explore Windsor, so we made our way into town and had a wander, eventually ending up in one of my favourite places, Wagamama. Yum. Of course, in true British style, it began to chuck it down so we decided to make our way back to our room, and enjoy the chance to just relax.

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And a bit of room service naturally.

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Now, I was trying to think of ways to describe the mattress without using the same words over and over again. TEMPUR mattresses conform and adapt to the exact shape of your body and support you in a way that makes you feel weightless. The TEMPUR story began when NASA developed a pressure absorbing material to support astronauts during the strain of lift-off. So if that is comfortable, I don’t know what is. The man definitely found the mattress to his liking. I’m assuming this due the INCREDIBLE levels of noise coming from him during the night. I had the window open because it was so warm in the room, which kind of makes me think Windsor is a little confused at the noises it heard Saturday night.

I must admit I woke up feeling like I’d slept well, kind of foggy headed, like I’d been asleep for 17 hours, feeling.

We headed down for breakfast (always a sign of a good hotel is when you get a good breakfast) then we made our way home, back to the little darlings that were missing us, to get ready for another week.

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So, if you’re looking for a relaxing getaway for a night or two, Taplow House Hotel is a good bet!

Huge thanks to TEMPUR for sending the man and I away to Taplow House for this review!

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Can’t cook, won’t cook…..

I have been loving this Easter half term, it has been so relaxing, the kids and I have been sleeping in until gone 10.30 almost every single day. There have been meals out, copious amounts of alcohol (my birthday) Go Ape (C’s birthday) and visiting friends. It’s been exactly what we all needed, just time to recharge our batteries. Sometimes, I think, kids can be overloaded with entertainment, activities and just constantly being on the go, they need time off school to unwind as well as us. I probably shouldn’t even get started on that subject…!

However, with all this free time and visiting friends houses (some who have recently had extensions and new kitchens) has come more time for me to start making my own house plans. I’m not talking building or renovations, we rent here, and we’re more than happy with that, but the visual side of things, especially the kitchen design.

Our living room is split-level. So while were open plan, it’s not the usual open plan. The kitchen is small-ish but kind of works for us. Not going to lie, more cupboards would be bloody amazing, and the odd drawer would be helpful. But hey, can’t complain! What I can complain about however, is the colour of the god damn tiles in my kitchen. Yellow, red and orange. I mean, who would ever, ever pick that colour scheme! They’re small tiles thankfully, and only used for the splash-back side of things, but they irritate me!
When I see other peoples kitchens I can turn a little bit hulk. You know, when you’re jealous of other people’s tiles and wonder how quickly you could re-tile your own? No? Just me then…….

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If the day comes where we decide to buy a place and do it up, I know exactly how I want my kitchen to be designed, it all comes down to space, storage and clever design tricks. Shelving units hidden behind pull out cupboards, recycle bins in drawers, an island with hob surrounded by enough chopping space. All encased in white subway tiles, easy to keep clean floors, and white walls. My huge oak table can come out of hibernation, partnered with the white Eames chairs, fresh flowers, huge bi-fold doors leading to a garden that can actually grow grass (don’t ask) I might even throw a cooker or two in there, you know, in case we have to cook occasionally.

{in collaboration with homify}

Image Via Pinterest.

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I suppose I’m a grown up now….?

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I’ve successfully made it to the age of 35. I used to listen to the ‘old’ people when I was younger, who always claimed they didn’t feel their age, in their heads they were still 16, and I never understood it. In my crazy, immature years, I was desperate to feel like a grown up. I mean, come on, I knew everything.

It, roughly, went like this:

Pre Teen:
When I’m a teenager, I’ll be well grown up.

Teenager:
When I go to college, and don’t have to wear a uniform, total grown up.

20’s:
When I’m married, and people call me MRS AG, and I get to use the phrase “my husband…..” that, that right there is maturity reached.

Married:
When I’m a parent, I will definitely feel grown up, I’ll have no choice, I’m in charge of a person.

Parent:
When I turn 30, that’s it, it’ll kick in. Proper adulthood, no more silly buggers, that feeling will just happen.

Week away from turning 35:
Who the f*ck is meant to be the adult in this house?! Where is my mum……..!?!?!

You know, I think those old folk were right. In my head, I’m doing a silent scream, thinking about all off this grown up stuff I appear to be doing, but really? Really I’m completely and utterly winging it. I saw a thing on Instagram that likened parenthood to being a swan, all graceful on the surface but kicking like shit under the water. Only, I don’t even have the graceful part nailed. #StayClassy

So I’ve kind of accepted I’ll never really feel like a grown up. It will always amaze me that I have people, actual humans, relying on me to know what’s happening and what we’re doing. That I have a teenager discussing GCSE options, I mean, that requires responsibility no? That I’m teaching a future man how to be a gentleman and treat girls as equals. That I’m teaching a young woman to be safe and confident at the same time.

That I have to provide healthy dinners. Every single night of the week. Like, they *always* need feeding.

At the same time, there are some perks to being an actual grown up. Like, making my own rules. Not having to explain to anyone why I’m having a kebab for dinner on a Tuesday. Drinking coffee because I like it. Staying up as late as I want (but not getting an effing lay in the next day) Netflix subscriptions. Alcohol. All the gin.

So, as an almost 35 year old, I think I’ve got it sorted. I will never be a full grown up. And I’m quite happy with that.

(And, they grey hair trend, I’m all over that…..)

 

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