Hold up. This is a proper post, not a review or even a sponsored post, this is a sit down, and take some time to actually write real words post. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Also, it’s probably a bit deeper than usual. Soz.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, this year started off with me being determined to focus on the good stuff, to create the life that I’ve been going on about forever and here we are at the end of April in the blink of an eye. Everyone says life needs purpose, I tell the kids that they need to do things that make them happy, even if their friends seem to be doing the complete opposite to what that is. But I felt like I was coasting along, doing the odd thing here and there to bring in the money, but none of it was what I really wanted to do. I had so many excuses ready for why I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, money, kids, time, too old, too late, take too long, blah x 3. When I was working full time (pre kids) I was never the kind of person who wanted to be a stay at home mum, but, I had the babies and they were too gorgeous to leave them (and, let’s be honest, the cost of childcare would be covered by me working and that would be it) so I stayed home with them, watched them grow and become these two little people that are now out in the world doing things without me! Argh!
Now they’re bigger I have the time to do what I want to do & I’m doing it. I finally signed up for the first in a long line of courses that I need to complete (and pass) in order to be a fully trained Sexual Psychotherapist. I’m actually taking the steps I’ve spent god knows how long talking about. The kids went back to school on Tuesday, and I spent the whole day at my desk studying. The day went by so fast, I got so involved in what I was reading and learning that it was pick up time before I knew it, no TV, no radio, no distractions. And I bloody loved it.
I want to do something with my life, to leave a mark, to have something that’s mine, that I worked for all by myself, for myself. I want my kids to see how good it is to work hard for something that makes you feel passionate and proud. For the first time in a long time I feel like I know where I’m heading as ‘me’ – which means I’m happier in every other aspect of my life. It’s a win win.